When I lost my husband seven years ago, I was not prepared for the amount of physical pain and fatigue that came with the loss. I would lie in bed willing my legs to move and they just wouldn't. My chest felt heavy and even painful, my neck muscles felt like they were in a vice grip of agony. I was dizzy when I stood up and felt nauseous and couldn't eat. As the immediate weeks faded into an oblivion of nothingness the brain fog and memory lapses were noticeable as I tried to complete everyday tasks. Grocery shopping seemed like a monumental event and it was a regular occasion to go to the store for one specific item and to leave with a varied array of useless ingredients that were not the one thing I had gone to the store for in the first place.
My grief over my husband was compounded by the grief for loss of myself, I was unrecognizeable. Once extremely capable and able to do so many things at one time and juggle all the duties of family and work and home I was reduced to barely being able to tackle one small thing in a day. I had a team of people who I was reaching out to for help: Grief Therapist, Chiropractor, Massage Therapist and my Naturopathic Doctor. What I realize now is that I was approaching grief in the same way that I approached everything in life--I was trying to get an A+. I was trying to get to an endpoint that I now know does not exist.
What I understand now is that grieving, especially traumatic grieving is a much longer process than society allows for and a much longer process than even the grieving person was expecting. Grieving is a circular vortex of intricate ups and downs that needs to be witnessed and encouraged and held. The other part of the process that needs to be recognized and supported is the very real physiological process that is occurring due to the physical demands of grieving.
Because I was a Naturopathic Doctor already at the time of my husband's death, I knew that I needed to be taking targeted nutrition and botanical supplementation along with homeopathic remedies as I was going through these early catastrophic phases of grief. I credit having access to multiple different alternative therapies to support my body through the long distance endurance race that grieving the loss of a spouse amounts to, with being able to recover from this loss.
As I continue my journey through grief, I continue to learn how best to support myself and others on their journeys. As I have learned there is no actual end point in this journey but there can be tremendous post traumatic growth when the body, mind and spirit are properly supported.
